


Just what today needs

by Fanfic_Annie



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Developing Relationship, Emotions, F/F, Feelings, Intimacy, LGBT, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-23
Updated: 2018-06-23
Packaged: 2019-05-27 09:13:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15021407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fanfic_Annie/pseuds/Fanfic_Annie
Summary: Vanessa's support of Charity is starting to take its toll.





	1. Just what today needs

**Author's Note:**

> So I wrote this after the June 4th episode where I felt like the whole support thing would be getting to Vanessa a little. This came along around the impact the whole thing is having on Vanessa. And then it gave me an excuse to write about them making up in Chapter 2 which I think is better than Chapter 1. Plus I loved the crack about ducks being just what today needs.

Vanessa sank down into the sofa heaving a sigh that seemed to come right up from her boots. She leant her elbow on the armrest and shaded her eyes with her hand. Charity had finished her latest outburst and was stomping up the stairs taking yet another dramatic loo break.

It wasn't that she wasn't there for her. Every fibre in her body was crying out to help and support the other woman through her pain, to ease the suffering and heal the wounds that had tormented her for years. But it was flaming hard. The tongue lashings she had received over the last few days (it felt like months) had really started to get to her. However much she knew they weren't personal, that they weren't about her, they were just Charity's way of dealing with her emotions, they still hit their target hard when carelessly flung around, wounding her, it felt, to her very core. The cutting rebuffs to her suggestions, the sarcastic comments, the throwaway barbs spat in her direction, each one felt like another arrow shooting into her breast, dimming her light and denting her spirit.

It took a serious amount of will to keep going in the face of the constant onslaught and she felt exhausted. And there was no end in sight. It was tough to see where and when this would finish. Hard to believe it would end well and take them all to a better place. This fight. It was for life. For Charity's life. And now hers too.

She tried to breathe. To calm the rising panic in her chest. To still the tears that threatened to spill from her eyes. She didn't want Charity to see her like this. She wanted to be strong. To remain the dependable one that Charity was coming to rely on. That she needed. Her determination didn't waver. But maybe her belief that she had enough strength to see this through faltered slightly. 

She couldn't begin to fathom what the woman was going through. And she didn't really know how to support her. She knew what to do with a wounded animal that clawed and spat and bit her. She could calm that beast and tend to its wounds. But a human? With volition and speech and imagination, that's a whole different ball game. And with someone as bright and quick and wily as Charity, who could always give back better than she got. She felt more out of her depth than she ever had and she didn't know what to do.

She did what she could with touch. A supportive stroke of her arm, the firm joining of their hands, a gentle grasp of the knee, a steadying hand on her shoulder. She hoped that conveyed the deep love she felt for the other woman. But, oh, the words. The constant sparring. The self-hate that poured out of Charity in her darker moments. Staying steadfast in the face of that and challenging those long-held beliefs, to try to show her another side to things, to her. It was all-consuming. Draining.

And it was all happening in her front room. The secrecy around it kept it locked tight inside these four walls. So she had nowhere to go to get away. She couldn't run, like Charity could, and often did. To decide it was all too much and flit away without a word or a backward glance. Until she needed to return to the safety of Vanessa. And even when she did that Vanessa couldn't relax. It didn't bring her respite. Then she worried even more about what the near-crazed hot-headed blonde would do. She'd already had a run-in with the police. She couldn't imagine what Charity was capable of when wild and loose and trapped in the web of desperate self-loathing.

She took another deep breath and tried to control her emotions. Lost in her own thoughts she didn't immediately notice the other woman come down the stairs, still chuntering. "Where are they? Why haven't they been in touch? Why won't they tell me what's going on?"

Vanessa lifted her head, keeping her face turned away from Charity standing by the stairs. "I'm sure they'll be here when they have news" she said flatly.

Charity didn't really listen to what Vanessa said. To be honest she'd stopped paying attention to her a while ago. But something in her tone stirred her. Her senses sharpened, scenting danger. She realised that what she could feel was resignation and despair, hanging heavy in the air before evaporating silently with Vanessa's laden sigh. 

She was instantly jolted back into the present moment. Torn out of her head, where she had been residing exclusively since she heard her son was alive. She was ripped away from the regrets and anger of the past and the worries and fears of the future, and brought smack bang back into the room. 

She saw the woman in front of her as if for the first time. She noted the sag in her shoulders, the downward tilt of her head and the heaviness of her limbs as she started to drag herself up off the sofa. And she felt a physical pain as her heart broke.

She couldn't stand to see Vanessa upset. And when she was the cause of that upset, it was almost more than she could bear. 

"Ness...Babe...what...I...?"

Vanessa dropped back onto the sofa, waving her hand in Charity's direction to silence her. The confusion and sadness and underlying concern in her girlfriend's voice pushed her over the edge of self-control and she choked out a sob. 

Charity didn't know what to do. Her instinct told her to run. To get out of this situation and flee. No, hold on. She stopped and checked herself. That wasn't instinct, she had learned to do that. In her childhood, when the only thing she could trust were her long legs to run her out of danger. And she hadn't stopped running since. 

But she wasn't that child now. She was an adult. Facing up to so many things for the first time. She wanted to stop running. It was time to stop running. She didn't want to run from Vanessa.

And if that sweet, vulnerable firecracker sat in front of her now, trying valiantly to hide her distress, had taught her anything in the last few months, it was that to stand your ground and face your fears always resulted in something better. Always.

So she stayed. Stood still for a moment. Trying to work out what to do. And as always her brain turned her confusion inwards. But before she got into the downward spiral of self-destruction, blaming herself for the pain she was causing, some more words of Vanessa's came to her. 

"it's not what you've done, it's what you do next that counts."

In 2 strides she was on the sofa next to Vanessa pulling her into a deep embrace. She wrapped her arms tightly around her, resting Vanessa's head on her chest, sinking her face into her golden hair, inhaling the other woman's scent and brushing her lips against her scalp. 

"Shhh. It's ok. Let it go. Let it all out." She murmured softly into Vanessa's hair, rocking her slightly. Finally, Vanessa came undone and she sobbed loudly and completely, releasing all the tensions and stresses she had been unconsciously carrying for weeks, months. They stayed where they were, locked together, for what seemed like an eternity, until the tidal wave of emotion finally passed and Vanessa quietened, her breathing slowly coming back under control and her heart rate slowing to match that of her uncommonly calm and steady girlfriend.

Vanessa lifted her head. "Charity.." she began. "Shhh" the other woman broke in. "It's ok, Ness. Really." 

"No, Charity, it's not." Vanessa shifted in her seat, trying to break free from the Charity's arms, but she was held firmly and tightly in place at the other woman's breast. She tried to speak again. "This isn't about me. I know that. I'm sorry."

"It's ok, Babe. I guess this whole thing isn't a walk in the park for you huh?"

Despite her blocked nose and hoarse throat, Vanessa let out a tiny yelp of laughter. "Yeah. Looking at ducks isn't what today needs."

"Talk to me, Babe."

"Charity, I feel so alone'" Vanessa blurted out before she could stop herself. "You tell me your secrets, and they are so big, and I can't do anything with them. I can't tell anyone - its not my stuff to share. I have to hold it all inside me. Bury it. And stay strong for you. And I don't mind, really, I want to be the one supporting you, I want to be everything you need. But sometimes it's too much." She gave another strangled sob. "And now you think I'm weak and can't handle it. And I can Charity, I can."

Despite the solemnity of the moment, Charity felt her lips curling upwards. She didn't think she'd ever witnessed anything as cute as a bedraggled Vanessa. She became so childlike when she cried, her face creasing up like a 4-year old and her voice rising in pitch to just below a squeak and getting strangled in her throat. She looked down, into Vanessa's big, shiny, tear-filled eyes and fell in love all over again.

"Well. You can't be the only one here earning good girlfriend points. I can give you the night off. Why don't you get out for a bit? Go for a drink with Tracy or Rhona. You haven't done that for ages," she suggested, as a new realisation hit her.

Vanessa broke her gaze and looked down. "I can't. They know me too well. They will want to know what's wrong. And I can't handle that right now."

"OK. Well how about this? Lets hit town tonight - movie and pizza was a great idea. And tomorrow I'll let the family into what's going on so that your burden is eased a little. So you don't have to carry me and this all alone, little one." Charity forced down the nerves but Vanessa heard the slight wobble in her voice and looked up again.

"Or how about this? We go out tonight and forget everything. And tomorrow morning we work out how to make this better for everyone and we do it together?" She caught Charity's eye and gave her The Look. 

Charity met her gaze and smiled. Her Vanessa was back. The brave, feisty warrior who she wanted in her corner for ever, who had her back and whose back she had. Whom she would protect to the death. Her partner in life, in love, in everything.

"Now go fix your face, Babe." Vanessa rose and walked towards the stairs. As she was about to mount the first step Charity grabbed her attention once more.

"Ness?" 

"Mmm?" 

"You ok?"

"Yeah." 

"Good."


	2. Movie and a pizza

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charity and Vanessa go on a date to reconnect after the pressures of the last few days.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to write about them falling in love. And a little smut.

The movie was a bit crap, but they didn't pay that much attention to it. Charity dragged them to the back row and spent most of the time distracting Vanessa, playing with her hands and gently tickling and poking her when she tried to focus on the screen instead of her girlfriend. Teasing, nudging their faces together and kissing, putting her hands where she shouldn't, seeing how far she could go before Vanessa huffed and pushed her away. It was a fun and entertaining game. 

Then they were sharing a pizza. Sitting opposite one another, totally lost in a world made up of each other's eyes. Not really eating much, sipping wine occasionally when the conversation momentarily slowed. Charity revelled in the intensity of their chemistry, both forgetting about anything around them as they became blind to their environment, totally tuned into what they were saying, where they were touching, how they made each other feel. A sudden moment of clarity saw her leaning forward with a glint in her eye. "Babe. Everyone here can feel us. They want what we have." She sensed the quiet envy in the restaurant, everyone aware of the pair tucked away in the corner, so in love that nothing and no one else mattered.

Vanessa coloured, giving off the outward appearance of embarrassment. And yet, in her eyes, a flicker of something else. Charity felt a frisson of excitement shoot down her spine as she glimpsed this hidden facet of Vanessa. She recalled the few times she had seen it before - an unexplored, untamed, recklessness that simmered just beneath her responsible, grown-up exterior. Charity sensed that neither her nor Vanessa knew fully what lay there and the slow uncovering of it was driving her wild. She desperately wanted to be the one that released it and was ready to wait as long as it took to see where it would lead them.

So she flirted. She talked dirty, a bit lewd, a little suggestive here and there. A slow, seductive quest. Lightly nudging the limits. Charity was a gladiator in this arena, dodging, tricking, advancing and retreating to move forwards in the game. Always uncovering a little more. Noting where Vanessa easily came with her, reluctantly slowed, nervously backed off while covering up curiosity. Marking where she feigned disinterest or finally broke contact, shifting the energy when the conversation got too hot and she got too uncomfortable. Charity gently yet relentlessly pursued her, never truly overstepping, all the time ensuring that Vanessa felt safe and remained open to the exploration.

When they left the restaurant they came apart, a tacit agreement not to touch in the taxi home or on the walk up to the house. They did it quite deliberately, stoking the ever-present sexual tension between them, allowing it to build, slowly, strongly, overpowering their bodies with nervous anticipation, knowing that the ecstatic coming together, when it finally happened, would be so much sweeter. They didn't talk much, both lost in the thoughts of the evening past and the night to come.

Inside, they shed their outdoor clothes, still not touching, and walked up the stairs in silence. Charity followed Vanessa into the bedroom, closed the door and leaned back on it, eyeing the other woman knowingly. Vanessa turned, her breath short and her body quivering. For a moment they stopped, locked in a gaze so intense and full of longing that neither would have been surprised if they actually caught fire. 

And then they were on each other. Hands, lips, tongues crashing together in a wave of passion that threatened to drown them both. As their mouths found each other and their tongues entwined, Charity felt electical pulses shooting through her body. Her tummy flipped and a moan escaped her lips, landing deep in Vanessa's's throat. A moment later and they had fallen onto the bed, Charity's weight pressing hard into her lover's body, feeling herself bearing down and wanting to collapse into her, needing their two bodies to be one. 

For all the wonderful love they had already made together, they did kissing the best. It was their way of telling each other what they never said with words. So they stayed where they were for a while, locked together, claiming each other's mouths with their tongues. Biting, sucking, licking. Exploring each other so thoroughly, so needily, silently whispering their love with shortened breath and liquid caresses. 

Charity shifted, her need to possess Vanessa overwhelming her. She wedged her arm in between them, her hand finding the button of Vanessa's jeans. She popped it hard and quickly lowered the zip, thrusting her hand inside. She entered her fiercely, making Vanessa gasp and bite down on Charity's bottom lip, tasting blood where she broke the skin. 

Charity drove her fingers in and out of Vanessa, finding a rhythm in time with the grind of their hips, using the thrust of her pelvis to plunge her fingers deeper into the warm, wet core that felt better than anywhere on earth. She used the palm of her hand to gently caress Vanessa's bud, increasing the speed and intensity of the movements as she felt the tension building in the other woman moaning into Charity's mouth. 

Charity slipped her free arm underneath Vanessa and pulled her close as she felt her reaching her peak. As the waves of pleasure shot through Vanessa and her body jerked and twisted their mouths broke contact and Charity buried her face in Vanessa's neck. Vanessa gasped in air while Charity held her so tightly she could almost feel the sensations ricocheting through Vanessa and into her. So close they were almost one.

As Vanessa's movements slowed, Charity lifted her head and kissed Vanessa deeply. She pulled back and stared into Vanessa's eyes, her smile conveying all she had ever felt for this woman, deeper and stronger than ever before. Vanessa smiled back, reached her head up and kissed her again. 

Charity rolled over onto the bed, leaving her arm curled round Vanessa's shoulders. They lay there, still, for a few moments, both reeling from the experience they had just shared. Charity opened her eyes as she felt Vanessa turn to face her. 

"Hey," Vanessa said, softly. Charity turned her head and looked at her. "Hey," she whispered back. "If it's that good with our clothes on, what's it going to be like with them off?"

Charity gave a characteristic shrug. "Dunno Babe. Wanna find out?"

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading. I'd love to hear what you think.


End file.
